So I finally got around to watching episode two. Important things like school and work have a funny way of interrupting one’s fun. You guys watching? I hope so! (I know I am behind most of you by now haha!)
So Nana Yaa goes apartment hunting. First of all, let me say I love the fact that she is not choosing to stay at home…too easy. Intrusive parents and interrupted sex life not withstanding, I think living on your own and fending for yourself produces a kind of maturity that nothing else can. I know it would be a steep learning curve for me if/when I move back home. Besides, she lived by herself before moving to Ghana.
Not So Sexy Real Estate
That being said, what the frack? Na which prices them that for house? Na so that returning palaver be don be? Is this how it is over there men dem? Wuna tell we hapless aspiring returnees oh, because those apartment prices are not sexy. NOT SEXY AT ALL!!. 500K for an apartment with no electricity or water guaranteed? Am I the only one who was thinking that guy was trying to pull a fast one on Nana Yaa? See him too to look at his watch and prance off, that kind “You’re wasting my time, woman.”
Ndutu! See e ngopo for up!
I reject those prices in the name of Jesus.
Let’s break this down. USD 500K converts to 236,807,580FCFA, as in over 200 million. In Naija, it goes to 80,664,680.00 NGN, surely this can buy you a cushy piece of land and build you a comfortable house? I’m gonna need peeps on the continent to chime in on this, maybe I just don’t know how it really is these days. The situation is different in Ghana, apparently it goes to 1,377,565.00 GHS. (By the way I’m not sure if this is a commentary on just how weak the Cameroonian economy is or how the strong the Ghanaian one is) So, is a mil, which has to be worth quite a bit if it converts to USD500K, not enough to get stuff done? Any Ghanaians out there? Helloo?
Next scene is the girls at another lunch date. Zainab and her lemon (Boss too na wa oh! LMAO) , Ngozi and her meat. It’s gotta be tortuous being a vegetarian in Africa though… which is surprising. There are so many fruits and veggies and dishes that can be prepared without any animal products. Nana Yaa dishes about her apartment hunting escapades and how pricey it is and inevitably the issue of sugar daddies comes up. Going by the prices mentioned, I have nothing but sympathy for any person who goes searching for sugar, whether of the daddy or the mommy variety. Good Lord. A truth I have had to come to terms with since I left the comfortable coop of my parents sponsorship is that I am lucky – incredibly lucky to have had parents who saw to my welfare from birth till when I was in a position to fend for myself. I am in no position to criticize how a woman chooses to make ends meet if her options are limited. If she is aware of the risks she faces and is willing to bear the consequences of her actions, more power to her.
Here’s a question though… if a guy buys a gift of his own accord, in an effort to woo a woman, and she accepts it does it then place an obligation on her to give him her body or her time or whatever else he might be after? Talk less of if she makes it clear that there is no chance of anything happening. Or it is just that? A gift he offered and she accepted? If it does place an obligation on her, then men can’t fault some women for being demanding and expensive. My body and my time is extremely valuable and if it is going to be reduced to a commodity, then by the ancestors, the guy is going to have to sell his soul to the devil to be able to afford it. Right now, I still find it hard to accept gifts (even from guys I am dating) because there seems to be this expectation and I ain’t got time for that mess. So, to accept or not to accept? Discuss.
The Sade/Ngozi dynamic cracks me up, though. I would love to see an episode on how this group got together. In my experience, the Sades and Ngozis in Cameroon rarely ever have such tight friendships. They may be on the fringes of each other social circles but bosom buddies hanging out? Hmmm… Nope. Speaking of which that scene in the restaurant had me thinking about a Ngozi/Sade moment I had in my more Ngozi-like days. I was hanging out in a friends room at the school hostel where I lived my first year of university and two of her other friends came by. The conversation some how strayed to the topic of what parents are expected to do as compared to what boyfriends (man-friends really) are expected to do for a girl in university. Naive as I was then, I saw no reason why a boyfriend should give you money to buy things like body lotion when you had perfectly good parents. I distinctly remember one of the girls giving me this amused and condescending look. Can’t even blame her right now.
Half Assing Feminism
I remember you ranting about a man who expected you to cook three meals a day. Apparently this was a problem to your emancipated high powered attorney self. So, help me understand why another man expecting you to pick up part of the check is such a big deal. And why was it easy for you to go dutch in Europe but not in Africa? Is it possible that the reason why men in Africa expect you to cook three meals a day, is because you expect them to pick up the check without question when the occasion arises?
Here’s the thing ladies. This feminism thing cannot be half-assed. You don’t exactly get to demand equality only when it suits you and then want to be treated like a “woman” when it’s convenient. It’s confusing and does no good to anyone. If you want to be the kind of woman who expects men to fulfill certain gender roles, then do not try to shirk the reciprocal gender roles that are placed on you,when they are. It’s that simple. If you want to be the kind of woman who considers it a nice gesture on the guys part but still his prerogative to pick up the tab, then go in expecting to pick up your half, offer to pay and for the love of Baba, MEAN it. These games are silly.
By the way, the look of abject panic and dismay on that guy’s face… Hehehehehe! Poor darling…
That moment when you see some guy in the distance peeing in the bushes and you start to pray it is not someone who knows you, ’cause you know he’s gonna try to shake your hand. Tufiakwa!
MAKE IT STOP! Whether man go start sell hand sanitizer oh!?
“One of Many” vs. “Somebody’s One and Only”
I love Sade and I have nothing but love for the Sade’s of the world. I respect their willingness to take on the world on their own terms and define the rules they live by. I especially respect the fact that they do that in African communities which we all know are not particularly used to women like that. That is why I can’t help but feel more than a little bit of confusion at the fact that Sade is all in her feelings because one of her sugar daddies is seeing someone else. I have no problem with a woman wanting to be someone’s one and only. None at all. However, from every indication so far, love is not her cup of tea… at least not yet. I think it is intended to show vulnerability but I’m still not buying it. Sade comes across as the Samantha of the show (Samantha of Sex and the City, that is). Of all those women, Samantha was the one who really didn’t care for commitment or relationships. She was out to get hers and she made no bones about it. I may be wrong but I do not remember Samantha pining over a man or feeling bad if some guy she was having an affair with had another woman. She simply moved on…or found a way to get even. Her character was consistent. I need Sade to stay in the bad ass zone. This cannot become one of those shows where the women are all searching for husbands like they are playing a high stakes poker game.
That being said, I’d totes take her out so we can dance and get drunk and make eyes at sexy guys.