So you may be wondering what happened to Sirri…
You know, the girl who was supposed to wow you this past February with her musings on sexual self discovery. The plan was to use poetry to delve into the very present, yet covered up secret lives of a young Cameroonian girl. This was in yet another attempt to demystify African female sexuality – throw off some of the taboo, let it come out and soak up some of the refreshing warmth and light of the sun and perhaps find new ways to grow and flourish.
I even got of to a banging start here.
I started many poems over the course of the month. In one I had Sirri musing over whether her love interest Fon, had ever experimented with himself , as she had just found out she could do. In another I had them actually having a conversation about it. In another, I had Sirri and a group of friends, hesitantly, laughingly but definitely talking about their respective individual discovery of sex. This one was titled “Have You Done It?” and it was largely based on a similar conversation I had many years ago with some girlfriends of mine. In yet another I had Sirri naked, in front of a mirror looking at her body. Really looking at it. Learning it. Admiring it.
I stand in front of the mirror
Letting my eyes roam
I feel my brow furrow
As the thought hits home
My body is beautiful
My body is magic
A veritable classic
Can I touch? I wonder
A chuckle follows
Of course, I can
What am I?
I started many poems. But I never finished any. Why? You may be wondering. Well, I felt discouraged.
What is the point? I kept asking myself.
If I have learned anything this past year of blogging, it is that the reticence of many (if not most) Cameroonian women in my audience to shake off the overreaching bonds of propriety knows no bounds. These bonds may be the very ropes on which they are being hung – strangled to death. But they remain the limits they believe they need abide by for whatever reason.
So why should I want to push them beyond that point? What gain is there to pushing, if it risked alienating the very people I’m trying to get a breakthrough with? I could lead the horse to the water but if it didn’t want to drink am I to force its head in the water and make it drink?
I mean, I know there are many out there who appreciate my scribbling. I know many learn from them. I know that one thing or another that I have written or ranted about has made more than a couple of people look at situations in a new light. I could even tell you the people who would like, comment, share or otherwise react to the poetry (you probably know them too) So, I knew it would not all be a waste. The fact remains, however, that when it comes to sex, we have a long, long way to go.
Now am I saying that I’m throwing in the towel on this? No. Absolutely not. The stakes are too high. But for the month of February. I did.
I Sweet Browned that whole mess.
Maybe I’ll pick it up again. Heck, I likely will when something happens to rile me up. But for now, accept my apologies if you were waiting for poetry. The ink well dried up.
Photo credit: drawception.com