Domestic Conflict

And then the day came
When I refused my lover sex
There was no trouble
I wasn’t angry with him
No be palava vex
Life was just its normal turbulent self
And I simply did not feel like it
His hints I gently disapproved
When he cajoled, I stayed unmoved
And when he asked
I straight up said no
Again and again
And again and again
And it got really complex
I could have given in
Put the pussy on him
Faking ecstasy is easier than most realize
All I have to do is close my eyes
It would have made him happy
Preserved the harmony
But would it have been truth?
Does truth matter anymore?
Even when it hurts?
Especially when it hurts?
He was confused
Frustrated, angry even
I was confused
Frustrated, angry even
And turbulent life around us made it no easier
And still I said no
Because I didn’t want to
And it wasn’t his fault
He wanted something
Something our decision to be with each other gives him access to
I was exercising something
Something my existence on this planet gives me a right to
Something that no one can
Or should try to take away from me
Or him,
Or you for that matter
It is your prerogative
To not have sex when you don’t want to
To have all the sex you can
When you want to
If you can find a willing partner to safely do it with
And if the complexities of this dynamic
Are too much for you to navigate
If you can’t respect the spaces people carve out for themselves
If you can’t respect the spaces your own being demands that you create for yourself
Then you probably shouldn’t be having sex too

 

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